Monday, 6 April 2015

Garlic and Beets

Yesterday I accidentally ate a clove of baked garlic thinking it was something else. My facial expression instantly indicated “YUCK”. I wasn’t expecting that flavour. I love garlic,  but not when it sneaks up on me like that. I must be ready for garlic.

With little to no thought at all, I chased it with the first thing I saw. 
Some beets.
Horrible decision.

I understood my logic. 
My mouth said:
“Uh whatever you just put in here is nasty and not what I had anticipated. Flavour change in effect immediately.”

Then I saw the beets
I ate them. 
Flavour changed.
Another horrible decision.
Another unanticipated flavour.

“You chase baked garlic with beets? Really?” I said to myself.

I looked all around. There was no water in sight. water in the vicinity of where I was sitting. Lui looked way too comfortable to help me out and the fridge looked way too far. 

“I need water!” I shouted internally.

“Stupid garlic. If you were just what I thought you were when I picked you up and ate you.... I wouldn’t.... I need water!”

I looked at the fridge. 
I felt like it thought I was an idiot. 

“Get up. Come get some water from me, and you can sit back down. Idiot.”

“No way fridge. Last time I trusted your contents I ended up with what the armpit of the produce isle must taste like!”

“What does that even mean? I am where your solution is. I have the water filter. Grab a glass and stop being an idiot.”

I turned my attention to the picture frames on my shelf.
There I saw my nephew and nieces smiling into the lens, producing frame worthy moments. Fuck they're cute. My heart instantly skipped a beat. 


“I need water!”

I kissed my teeth and stomped my foot, huffed, puffed then got up from my chair. Lui glanced over at me, then turned his attention back to the television. A huff always gets a head turn from him. I assume he’s deciphering the tone of my huff. 

Is it an “I’m bored” huff?

Is it a “I’m frustrated” huff?

Is it a “I’m gonna blow up in 3...2...1...” huff?

It was a “Fuck! Fine! I’ll get the water!” huff.

I walked past the fridge and straight to the sink where the empty water filter was. I stared at it for a good forty five seconds, then at the tap for fifteen more. I felt another huff or groan coming on, but I interrupted it by turning the faucet on. I grabbed the water filter and began the refilling process. 

I glared at my fridge.

“And I’m the idiot!? Your water filter isn’t even filled nor is it inside you!”

I turned back to the sink and completed the refilling process.
I waited as the water dripped through the filter. Slowly but surely I was getting to the point where I could wash the taste of mistake out of my mouth. 

“I thought it was an olive! We don’t even have olives...but we sure as fuck have baked garlic and beets! That I know for sure.”

I opened my cupboard and reached for a glass. A shiver rolled down my spine as I noticed the remnants of “EW!” on my tongue.

I turned on the faucet and filled my glass to the brim.
I downed an entire glass of tap water then walked back to my seat and sat down.
Leaving the water filter on the counter top and the fridge in bewilderment. 

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